"I can't leave it here!"

So aside from stuffing myself at the party today, I felt the need to crash Kaete and Melissa's date. I was planning on totally boozing it up at dinner, but for some reason, I wasn't allowed to drink a Long Island Iced Tea because we were sitting in a window booth? Thank you censorship. WTF? So I settled for a tequila sunrise and enjoyed my sexually explicit conversation with my friends.

We were there for almost three hours and never ran out of things to talk about. But the best part was yet to come. Haha... come. ROFL.

We half dragged Melissa to the ye olde porn shop as she'd never been there. Kaete picked up a grotesquely large curved cock as a present for her date tomorrow and I picked up myself a little something.. but then I saw it. The best part of the evening. My discovery of Bag Ladies.

So I know that phrase conjures up a picture of a dirty, overweight woman in Central Park pushing a cart. Well, this fine pornography features a few fit young ladies getting fucked while wearing bags over their heads. Each bag has unique facial expressions, from the curve of the nose, to the size of the mouth hole. And one of them's wearing flannel! :D

The slogans on the box really seal the deal.
"Every girl is beautiful... with a bag over her head!"
"The unknown whore sucks again." and,
"What kind of girl gets fucked with a bad on her head?"

My favorite, however, is the disclaimer on the video tape.

The video you are about to watch presents fictional accounts of sexual relationships. It was designed to stimulate and enhance you sexual enjoyment as well as to inform and educate. Please note, however, that this fictional sexual relationship does not always exhibit safe sex nor the full range of a real life interpersonal relationship.

What the flaming fuck? ... Anyway, my life is now complete, now that I have bag porn in my collection. ROFL!!